Help for Carers

The families and friends of an alcoholic or addict may have tried almost everything to stop their loved one from the unmanageability that can cause chaos in family homes and within relationships everywhere.

Addictions know no boundaries and can happen within any family.

Addictions UK can offer support to the family of the people they are working with. It is critical that people close to the addict do not hinder the recovery of their loved one. The recognition that carers are powerless needs to be taken into consideration. They often need a great amount of support and coaching.

The support of the carers is carried out by different member of staff to those working with addicts. Addictions UK employ staff that have had their own experience as "carers" - no information is exchanged between the respective teams to ensure strict confidentiality surrounding their work with both parties.

Friends and families are encouraged to attend support groups, depending on their beliefs and circumstances. Some family members have enjoyed a great deal of support from Families (www.famanon.org.uk) and Al-Anon (www.alanonuk.org.uk others have joined local groups run in their own localities.

A Mother's Story

When I phoned Addictions UK I was really clutching at straws.

My son lived in an apartment with nothing but a mattress, duvet and a few worthless possessions. He managed a phone call to us once a week to let us know that he was still alive and his life was taking drugs, sleeping and very little food - that was it! As parents we had to endure all the worries and anxieties it brought - like the added worry of an addict partner that he had split from and a small daughter that somehow survived.

By now we had tried everything in the book to turn him around before he reached a point of no return - remembering also the child and his responsibilities to her.

My son's addiction problem took priority with payment being worked out at affordable amounts. Today five months later my son is winning the battle against addiction. His daughter is now allowed to live with him with my husband and me as her carers. He has been taught to understand his own addiction problems and to deal with them. So far, it is a Happy Ending but of course addicts live one day at a time and none of us expect. We are just thankful we have come so far.

My Partner

I have lived with my partner for nearly twenty five years. I know how hard it is to share your life with a using drug addict and alcoholic. I tried everything I could to change her behaviour - pouring bottles of expensive alcohol down the drain, buying drugs for her and rationing them, cutting up her credit cards, spying on her and many other mad things. I used manipulative behaviour to persuade her to go into treatment so that she could stop drinking and taking drugs. Everything failed.

Then suddenly - without any intervention or involvement from me - she decided to stop and started asking where she could get help. We found Addictions UK from the Internet and phoned them and to my amazement they were able to start her on a course of treatment straight away. Slowly she got stronger and stronger and she is sober and clean today. She is now back to paid employment and our nightmare days are over - even if everyone tells me that I must live "a day at a time" with the sobriety / clean time and recognise that there are no magic cures for addictive behaviour.

She kept in contact with Addictions UK and I am grateful to them for their treatment. I received a lot of help from their family and friends help line which was very beneficial - especially during the early day.

We first contacted Addictions UK nearly two years ago and my partner is now coming up to two years clean and sober. I cannot tell you how grateful I am now. I recognise that my nagging and controlling behaviour just did not work. Unless you have been there it is impossible to write about the pain that addictions cause. It is certainly a family illness - as my support worker used to share. The anonymous and confidential treatment that we received was so re-assuring. We did not want our problems to be recorded on medical records for obvious reasons.